No credit for that needed..

Today I shall rant about my credit card. Recently I got a slightly better credit card. I don't really feel the need to try and manage more than one...I don't usually have a balance longer than a month anyway, so I figured I would cancel the lessor one. First off there was no 800 number. I had to call long distance for customer service, I found that odd. So I called it. I had to jump through all the automated hoops..press 1 for your balance, press 2 for your credit limit, press 3 for your remaining credit, press 4 for a brick wall to slam your head against... Finally my option came, 0...shouldn't zero have been first? instead of 25th? I pressed it..*beep*, I am placed on hold. A lady answers, surprisingly she spoke English, I guess that's why they skimped on the 800 number to be able to afford someone who actually spoke the language of the customers she would be speaking to. She asked my name, address, card number, etc. Then asked what she could do for me.. I told her I wanted to cancel the card, she asked why, I informed her. Then she told me she would have to transfer me to the Grand Wizard, or maybe she said account manager... So I agree and then I hear the magical awesome elevator music of the 80's greatest hits volume one. After about 5 minutes I hear a click, and then a dial tone! They had hung up on me!
So I called back, five minutes later I am speaking with a different lady, who asks me all the same information and then puts me on hold. This time I make it through. Now a new lady, she then asks me the exact same questions, my name, address, card number, etc. and why I want to cancel. that's when I said "The first lady I spoke to asked those same questions why do I have to repeat the answers?" "well sir, I don't know why that lady asked you those questions, she doesn't even have a computer, perhaps she was just trying to be polite and make conversation?"
I'm joking.
But I was wondering why.
Then she said in the most monotone script reading voice in the world "Is there anything we can do to keep you?"
I was thinking, well that 85% APR is tempting to keep and that $50 credit limit does serve all my needs, plus this outstanding customer service really wins me over.
I decided to be nice and simply say no. Then as she thanked me she reminded me that I was always welcome back to *then she mispronounced the name of the card*...I'm not joking.

Studys have shown...

1. Eating chocolate is good for you



2. You can relieve headaches by putting your hand in a vise



3. Beer is chocked full of antioxidants



4. Skipping church helps you long for God more and makes you a overall better Christian

Okay I just spurted those out from the top of my head. Every time I sign out of my e-mail on the front page of Yahoo or MSN there is some little article with titles like that. I, being a fool click on them. They start out like some sort of breaking news and always end with something along the lines of a study of 30 people in some weird place in Europe underwent testing and these were the results, similar tests have shown nothing. In other words, you just wasted 3 minutes reading this to find out the author of this article couldn't find anything with proven results to write about so they decided this was news enough for some idiot who has nothing better to do than read their news from a front page Yahoo site! While I almost always seem to be able to avoid the celebrity gossip, when I see something like "Cheerios make you suicidal" as I'm eating my bowl of Cheerios I'd like to know before I take my next bite if it's something I should really care about or some whacked out writer who found a fly in his bowl.

Whatever it is I think I see...Becomes a Tootsie Roll to me

Oh how sweet it is to reminisce, I found this jewel today!

An open letter....

This is the first of many to come open letters......



To the people who wear sunglasses indoors-

Dear sir,

I say sir because in my experience it always seems to be gentleman, if there are the few ladies out there this can also be for you.

It has recently come to my attention that some of you are still choosing to wear sunglasses indoors. This letter is being drawn up to inform you that this practice is no longer socially acceptable, nor was it ever for that matter.

Please ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I a celebrity?



2. Did I just visit the eye doctor?



3. Am I in the witness protection program?



4. Am I blind?...trick question! If you are blind how are you reading this?

If any of those above apply to you you may stop reading this now as you are forgiven. For those of you who didn't find your out up above I need for you to understand something. You are not "cool" or "awesome" . Please take this moment to run to the shower and cry. After the tears are gone you may return to finish.

Now you are thinking to yourself "if this was so uncool or not awesome why didn't anyone say anything to me?" Well perhaps it's because they didn't want to hurt your feelings. You see when someone like yourself manages to find something that makes them feel socially accepted you tend to cling to it and hold on for dear life. I have decided it is my job to figuratively remove your sunglasses and smash them with my foot on the ground. Before you remove them and move onto something else that you think is cool but isn't here are some more things to avoid to help you out...

1. Sweatpants in public



2. Head visors



3. Sweatbands when not working out



4. Professional wrestling shirts



5. Velcro shoes, unless you are under the age of 6

I wish you the best of luck!

-Me

Car Twin part Duex!

It happened! I came face to face with my car twins owner. Ironically he was at the liquor store. Today being Friday and I just finished dropping off a load for shipment at the post office I felt like picking up a six pack. I saw my nemesis there before I even pulled in. A smile of grimace overtook my face. I pulled up, and went in. I curiously looked around as though I didn't know what I wanted, secretly looking for my foe like a hunter stalking its prey...Nothing! Only the lady at the front counter, then I heard indistinguishable voices coming from the back office. He was in there talking to the owner. I had to concede for now. I paid for my six pack of happiness and returned to my vehicle. As I was buckling up I saw a man approach. After seeing me he seemed almost started. I then realised it was he. He was leaving and mistook my vehicle for his own. After seeing me in it he must have glanced over to see his own. He then tried to play it off as though nothing happened. For a brief moment our eyes met and it was if I could read his thoughts, a wave of calm overtook me as I realised....my truck is better than his. I waved at him and he waved back. While our short friendship only lasted a few brief seconds it has left a mark on my heart I shall never forget. So long car twin!