Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
I'm back, BABY!!!
After my last post I kind of forgot to update this thing. Last week I had super keyboard issues begin. Out of the blue my keyboard just freaked out. The caps lock was turning off and on by itself the letters would only work when they wanted to. Last Friday it completely died. I went to Wal-Mart that evening to buy another one. They had two to choose from: crap, and crap senior. I had no intentions of keeping either, I just needed something to use until I made it to a real store. So I bought the $10 special. After I got home I hooked it up to find while typing normal many letters, such as: A, D, G, and maybe a few more didn't work unless you pushed down as hard as you can. Needless to say that is very frustrating. I pretty much gave up on e-mail. I didn't find one I liked so I ordered one on the Internet.
It came today and I was SO happy to start using it. I feel like I evolved. From a chimp smashing a rock into the ground to a future human using my brain waves to communicate. Well okay not quite that much but this new one is wonderful!
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Happy St. Pat's!
St. Patrick of Ireland is one of the world's most popular saints. Apostle of Ireland, born at Kilpatrick, near Dumbarton, in Scotland, in the year 387; died at Saul, Downpatrick, Ireland, 17 March, 461.
Along with St. Nicholas and St. Valentine, the secular world shares our love of these saints. This is also a day when everyone's Irish.
There are many legends and stories of St. Patrick, but this is his story.
Patrick was born around 385 in Scotland, probably Kilpatrick. His parents were Calpurnius and Conchessa, who were Romans living in Britian in charge of the colonies.
As a boy of fourteen or so, he was captured during a raiding party and taken to Ireland as a slave to herd and tend sheep. Ireland at this time was a land of Druids and pagans. He learned the language and practices of the people who held him.
During his captivity, he turned to God in prayer. He wrote
"The love of God and his fear grew in me more and more, as did the faith, and my soul was rosed, so that, in a single day, I have said as many as a hundred prayers and in the night, nearly the same." "I prayed in the woods and on the mountain, even before dawn. I felt no hurt from the snow or ice or rain."
Patrick's captivity lasted until he was twenty, when he escaped after having a dream from God in which he was told to leave Ireland by going to the coast. There he found some sailors who took him back to Britian, where he reunited with his family.
He had another dream in which the people of Ireland were calling out to him "We beg you, holy youth, to come and walk among us once more."
He began his studies for the priesthood. He was ordained by St. Germanus, the Bishop of Auxerre, whom he had studied under for years.
Later, Patrick was ordained a bishop, and was sent to take the Gospel to Ireland. He arrived in Ireland March 25, 433, at Slane. One legend says that he met a chieftain of one of the tribes, who tried to kill Patrick. Patrick converted Dichu (the chieftain) after he was unable to move his arm until he became friendly to Patrick.
Patrick began preaching the Gospel throughout Ireland, converting many. He and his disciples preached and converted thousands and began building churches all over the country. Kings, their families, and entire kingdoms converted to Christianity when hearing Patrick's message.
Patrick by now had many disciples, among them Beningnus, Auxilius, Iserninus, and Fiaac, (all later canonized as well).
Patrick preached and converted all of Ireland for 40 years. He worked many miracles and wrote of his love for God in Confessions. After years of living in poverty, traveling and enduring much suffering he died March 17, 461.
He died at Saul, where he had built the first church. Why a shamrock?
Patrick used the shamrock to explain the Trinity, and has been associated with him and the Irish since that time. In His Footsteps:
Patrick was a humble, pious, gentle man, whose love and total devotion to and trust in God should be a shining example to each of us. He feared nothing, not even death, so complete was his trust in God, and of the importance of his mission.
Along with St. Nicholas and St. Valentine, the secular world shares our love of these saints. This is also a day when everyone's Irish.
There are many legends and stories of St. Patrick, but this is his story.
Patrick was born around 385 in Scotland, probably Kilpatrick. His parents were Calpurnius and Conchessa, who were Romans living in Britian in charge of the colonies.
As a boy of fourteen or so, he was captured during a raiding party and taken to Ireland as a slave to herd and tend sheep. Ireland at this time was a land of Druids and pagans. He learned the language and practices of the people who held him.
During his captivity, he turned to God in prayer. He wrote
"The love of God and his fear grew in me more and more, as did the faith, and my soul was rosed, so that, in a single day, I have said as many as a hundred prayers and in the night, nearly the same." "I prayed in the woods and on the mountain, even before dawn. I felt no hurt from the snow or ice or rain."
Patrick's captivity lasted until he was twenty, when he escaped after having a dream from God in which he was told to leave Ireland by going to the coast. There he found some sailors who took him back to Britian, where he reunited with his family.
He had another dream in which the people of Ireland were calling out to him "We beg you, holy youth, to come and walk among us once more."
He began his studies for the priesthood. He was ordained by St. Germanus, the Bishop of Auxerre, whom he had studied under for years.
Later, Patrick was ordained a bishop, and was sent to take the Gospel to Ireland. He arrived in Ireland March 25, 433, at Slane. One legend says that he met a chieftain of one of the tribes, who tried to kill Patrick. Patrick converted Dichu (the chieftain) after he was unable to move his arm until he became friendly to Patrick.
Patrick began preaching the Gospel throughout Ireland, converting many. He and his disciples preached and converted thousands and began building churches all over the country. Kings, their families, and entire kingdoms converted to Christianity when hearing Patrick's message.
Patrick by now had many disciples, among them Beningnus, Auxilius, Iserninus, and Fiaac, (all later canonized as well).
Patrick preached and converted all of Ireland for 40 years. He worked many miracles and wrote of his love for God in Confessions. After years of living in poverty, traveling and enduring much suffering he died March 17, 461.
He died at Saul, where he had built the first church. Why a shamrock?
Patrick used the shamrock to explain the Trinity, and has been associated with him and the Irish since that time. In His Footsteps:
Patrick was a humble, pious, gentle man, whose love and total devotion to and trust in God should be a shining example to each of us. He feared nothing, not even death, so complete was his trust in God, and of the importance of his mission.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Let the punishment commence
So last time I was saying how I needed something fun. I got the whole mess with the speakers all straightened out. I even managed to buy a CD/MP3 player. Saturday I put it all in. I went to Dubuque to have some time on the road, in order to try all my new gadgets out, and to have some fun. Ironically on the way home my alternator crapped out..this is key to have for things like: headlights, defrost blower motor, windshield wipers, and oh yeah a MP3 player! So I guess my punishment for buying something fun was to have something happen that would prevent me from using it! I barely made it home that night. I tried to get the part the next day but every place needed to order it in and it would be a days wait. So I ordered it online, saved $30 and a trip and waited an extra day. I put it in today, it took about 2 hours. I'll just be thankful it was something I was able to fix on my own instead of something major.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
"Fun"
Okay here it goes. I figure I should try and be a little more personal in my blogs so this will be my first attempt...just kidding! No, I am serious, let's try that again.
Lately I have come to the conclusion that I don't really buy anything fun. Depending on who you are you may be thinking "join the club" or "what is this fun you speak of?" I being a single guy probably should be trying to have fun and enjoy being single and wouldn't part of that be buying something fun here and there? Well I decided I should do just that! The last "fun" thing I bought was my TV. I didn't need a new one I just wanted one, so that was "fun". That was also in 2002. Five years! Don't get me wrong I do buy things like clothes, etc. But those things always serve a purpose... like covering me and keeping me warm. I bought a bike two years ago so I guess that's half fun and half exercise...or transportation. I decided this time the "fun" would be to replace the rear speakers in my truck and get a new CD player. The old speakers are pretty much rotted away and sound nasty. The CD player in it now is fine but doesn't play MP3's(I use them alot) and I'd like one with a remote...I know what you are thinking! "You lazy sloth, why do you need a remote when you are two feet from the stereo!" Well my dear child, I have a 5 speed and the shifter is right in front of the CD player so when I want to hit any buttons I have to reach around it putting myself into an odd position and taking my attention off the road.
So today I set out to buy those two items. The speakers seemed to be the easy part. I used the stores computer to look up what I needed and found a pair that were on clearance/sale ...done! The CD player was the hard part. I wanted specific features. After all if it has to last me 8 years like this other one has it had better have it all right? The guy at the store wasn't very helpful, and even if he was I find they usually spew out dribble about whatever product you are looking at even if everything they say they are making up as they go along. So I left there more confused then when I went in and headed over to the great beast, Wal-Mart. All their CD players were locked up behind glass. They were selling like 20-some but only had maybe 8 on display. I found one by reading the box that seemed to have what I was looking for but needed a closer look to be sure. When I looked around to find a key monkey (an employee trusted enough to wield the oh so powerful key) there were none to be found. I saw a small crowd gathered around the tire/lube job area waiting for someone to come. I peeked around the corner and peered down the 3 miles of endless products only to come up empty handed. Oh where oh where are those blue vested warriors when you need them? Frustrated I gave up. On my way to the front I kept an eye out just for my own satisfaction. I didn't see any! So I decided to conclude my quest later on.. in a different store. The speakers would have to do. I got home, grabbed a screw driver, loosened all the screws and took the speaker out only to find... it was a different size that the ones I bought. The computer was wrong. I guess my "fun" turned out to be a pain and waste of time. I shall try again in the very near future though.
Lately I have come to the conclusion that I don't really buy anything fun. Depending on who you are you may be thinking "join the club" or "what is this fun you speak of?" I being a single guy probably should be trying to have fun and enjoy being single and wouldn't part of that be buying something fun here and there? Well I decided I should do just that! The last "fun" thing I bought was my TV. I didn't need a new one I just wanted one, so that was "fun". That was also in 2002. Five years! Don't get me wrong I do buy things like clothes, etc. But those things always serve a purpose... like covering me and keeping me warm. I bought a bike two years ago so I guess that's half fun and half exercise...or transportation. I decided this time the "fun" would be to replace the rear speakers in my truck and get a new CD player. The old speakers are pretty much rotted away and sound nasty. The CD player in it now is fine but doesn't play MP3's(I use them alot) and I'd like one with a remote...I know what you are thinking! "You lazy sloth, why do you need a remote when you are two feet from the stereo!" Well my dear child, I have a 5 speed and the shifter is right in front of the CD player so when I want to hit any buttons I have to reach around it putting myself into an odd position and taking my attention off the road.
So today I set out to buy those two items. The speakers seemed to be the easy part. I used the stores computer to look up what I needed and found a pair that were on clearance/sale ...done! The CD player was the hard part. I wanted specific features. After all if it has to last me 8 years like this other one has it had better have it all right? The guy at the store wasn't very helpful, and even if he was I find they usually spew out dribble about whatever product you are looking at even if everything they say they are making up as they go along. So I left there more confused then when I went in and headed over to the great beast, Wal-Mart. All their CD players were locked up behind glass. They were selling like 20-some but only had maybe 8 on display. I found one by reading the box that seemed to have what I was looking for but needed a closer look to be sure. When I looked around to find a key monkey (an employee trusted enough to wield the oh so powerful key) there were none to be found. I saw a small crowd gathered around the tire/lube job area waiting for someone to come. I peeked around the corner and peered down the 3 miles of endless products only to come up empty handed. Oh where oh where are those blue vested warriors when you need them? Frustrated I gave up. On my way to the front I kept an eye out just for my own satisfaction. I didn't see any! So I decided to conclude my quest later on.. in a different store. The speakers would have to do. I got home, grabbed a screw driver, loosened all the screws and took the speaker out only to find... it was a different size that the ones I bought. The computer was wrong. I guess my "fun" turned out to be a pain and waste of time. I shall try again in the very near future though.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
No credit for that needed..
Today I shall rant about my credit card. Recently I got a slightly better credit card. I don't really feel the need to try and manage more than one...I don't usually have a balance longer than a month anyway, so I figured I would cancel the lessor one. First off there was no 800 number. I had to call long distance for customer service, I found that odd. So I called it. I had to jump through all the automated hoops..press 1 for your balance, press 2 for your credit limit, press 3 for your remaining credit, press 4 for a brick wall to slam your head against... Finally my option came, 0...shouldn't zero have been first? instead of 25th? I pressed it..*beep*, I am placed on hold. A lady answers, surprisingly she spoke English, I guess that's why they skimped on the 800 number to be able to afford someone who actually spoke the language of the customers she would be speaking to. She asked my name, address, card number, etc. Then asked what she could do for me.. I told her I wanted to cancel the card, she asked why, I informed her. Then she told me she would have to transfer me to the Grand Wizard, or maybe she said account manager... So I agree and then I hear the magical awesome elevator music of the 80's greatest hits volume one. After about 5 minutes I hear a click, and then a dial tone! They had hung up on me!
So I called back, five minutes later I am speaking with a different lady, who asks me all the same information and then puts me on hold. This time I make it through. Now a new lady, she then asks me the exact same questions, my name, address, card number, etc. and why I want to cancel. that's when I said "The first lady I spoke to asked those same questions why do I have to repeat the answers?" "well sir, I don't know why that lady asked you those questions, she doesn't even have a computer, perhaps she was just trying to be polite and make conversation?"
I'm joking.
But I was wondering why.
Then she said in the most monotone script reading voice in the world "Is there anything we can do to keep you?"
I was thinking, well that 85% APR is tempting to keep and that $50 credit limit does serve all my needs, plus this outstanding customer service really wins me over.
I decided to be nice and simply say no. Then as she thanked me she reminded me that I was always welcome back to *then she mispronounced the name of the card*...I'm not joking.
So I called back, five minutes later I am speaking with a different lady, who asks me all the same information and then puts me on hold. This time I make it through. Now a new lady, she then asks me the exact same questions, my name, address, card number, etc. and why I want to cancel. that's when I said "The first lady I spoke to asked those same questions why do I have to repeat the answers?" "well sir, I don't know why that lady asked you those questions, she doesn't even have a computer, perhaps she was just trying to be polite and make conversation?"
I'm joking.
But I was wondering why.
Then she said in the most monotone script reading voice in the world "Is there anything we can do to keep you?"
I was thinking, well that 85% APR is tempting to keep and that $50 credit limit does serve all my needs, plus this outstanding customer service really wins me over.
I decided to be nice and simply say no. Then as she thanked me she reminded me that I was always welcome back to *then she mispronounced the name of the card*...I'm not joking.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Studys have shown...
- Eating chocolate is good for you
- You can relieve headaches by putting your hand in a vise
- Beer is chocked full of antioxidants
- Skipping church helps you long for God more and makes you a overall better Christian
Okay I just spurted those out from the top of my head. Every time I sign out of my e-mail on the front page of Yahoo or MSN there is some little article with titles like that. I, being a fool click on them. They start out like some sort of breaking news and always end with something along the lines of a study of 30 people in some weird place in Europe underwent testing and these were the results, similar tests have shown nothing. In other words, you just wasted 3 minutes reading this to find out the author of this article couldn't find anything with proven results to write about so they decided this was news enough for some idiot who has nothing better to do than read their news from a front page Yahoo site! While I almost always seem to be able to avoid the celebrity gossip, when I see something like "Cheerios make you suicidal" as I'm eating my bowl of Cheerios I'd like to know before I take my next bite if it's something I should really care about or some whacked out writer who found a fly in his bowl.
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